The hit TV Netflix show, “You,” is close to hitting 40 million views within its first four weeks. This thriller series about Joe, a bookstore manager, who quickly becomes obsessed with an aspiring writer, Beck. The show is written in second person which makes it even creepier to hear Joe’s thoughts in his head. Joe uses social media to stalk Beck’s every move and even goes as far as killing those close to her that he sees is getting in his way.
Throughout the show it can be seen by viewers that Beck needs to get out of that relationship with Joe due to the signs. Many women when they are in a toxic relationship, do not realize it or when they do, it is hard to leave because they are scared. This show reminded me of the little things I experienced while in my toxic relationship.
A toxic relationship can be defined as “a relationship characterized by behaviors on the part of the toxic partner that are emotionally and, not infrequently, physically damaging to their partner.” Those who exhibit these traits only act out for one main reason, they need to have the power and be in control.
My personal story is nothing compared to what “You” is about but there are similarities that I experienced. At the end of freshman year of high school until the end of junior year, I was in a toxic relationship.
The guy I had been seeing would ask me every morning before I left for school what I was wearing to make sure he approved. I knew in the back of my head that was not right because I would send a photo I knew he would approve of and then change and wore what I wanted. Little did I know what I was experiencing was mental and emotional abuse.
The signs started to become more obvious of why I needed to leave to everyone else around me, but me. He became very jealous of anyone I was talking to, even if it was just a guy friend. When he became angry and jealous over this, he would start slut-shaming me. I was scared to say something to someone because I would see how angry he would get over the littlest thing and was afraid, “what would he do to me if I tried leaving?”
Then things took a turn for the worse. He would text me almost every night threatening suicide due to things going on in his life and blaming it on me. I was scared and did not know what to do. I would stay up all night on the phone calling and texting him to talk him out of it. I would go to bed crying on these nights because I felt helpless.
After almost three months of this occurring when I had a mental breakdown and finally confessed to a guidance counselor what was happening. They got in contact with his school, sat him down and talked to him. He admitted he only did it to get attention out of me and he was never actually going to cause harm to himself.
Stats
“College students are not equipped to deal with dating abuse – 57% say it is difficult to identify and 58% say they don’t know how to help someone who’s experiencing it.”
“One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.”
“Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence — almost triple the national average.
For information on statistics involving dating abuse, visit https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/dating-violence-statistics/
If you or anyone you may think is experiencing mental or physical abuse please contact 1-800-799-7233.
You are not alone.
