When I was a kid, and even now, I have always dreamt of being an A-list celebrity hotshot living the high life in the Hollywood hills, rolling up to premieres and meeting fans.
I have always looked up to many actors like Tom Hanks, Robin Williams, Angelina Jolie, Leonardo DiCaprio, and of course, Kevin Spacey.
I have always leaned towards Spacey’s acting method because of the way he could pull off a sinister role and how to could become a character.
The first movie I watched of his was “A Bugs Life,” which I saw when I was a kid. Although I never knew it was him at the time, the voice of Hopper always stuck with me.
Now, I’ve grown up to witness his other roles with the likes of Frank Underwood in “House of Cards” and the role of Gamble/Keyser Soze in “The Usual Suspects.”
Now with all these allegations that are starting to emerge about the top people in Tinsel town, I began to get nervous about the people I liked.
Then I saw it.
At 2 a.m., I was laying on my bed, scrolling through the internet, as most people do these days. Then, I saw the article: “Actor Anthony Rapp: Kevin Spacey Made A Sexual Advance Toward Me When I Was 14”.
I immediately thought that this could not possibly be true since the article was on Buzzfeed.
I then woke up the next morning to find the story everywhere; I was horrified.
The man I looked up to all these years was a pedophile.
Kevin did make a public apology on his Twitter, where he wrote, “I’m beyond horrified to hear his story. I honestly do not remember the encounter. It would have been over 30 years ago. I owe him the sincerest apology… I am sorry for the feelings he describes having carried with him all these years.”
He also took the opportunity to do something else— to come out of the closet.
“I have loved and had romantic encounters with men throughout my life,” he wrote. “And I choose to live as a gay man.”
I sat in my dorm all morning trying to comprehend all of this. I even tried convincing myself that all of this must have been false, for the man that I knew would never do this.
When I came to my senses, I looked to my right and saw the “House of Cards” poster I had put on my wall and immediately took it down.
I’m not angry about him coming out of the closet; I see nothing wrong with people coming out.
I’m angry because he used coming out as a gay man as an excuse for why he did this, even though he said what he did was “drunken behavior.” He is also trying to make the subject about himself.
Then, more bad news came, straight from the set of “House of Cards” when eight set members came out and said that he made advances towards them.
Then more came from journalist Heather Unruh, Richard Dreyfuss‘ son and even filmmaker Tony Montana.
Kevin said on Nov. 1 that he was going to seek “evaluation and treatment.”
I now believe that Kevin could nevermore relate to the final line of “The Usual Suspects,” film: “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”
I’ve used to dream of meeting this man. I’ve dreamt about visiting his Old Vic theater in London and seeing a show that he would produce. I’ve even dreamt of seeing him perform on Broadway.
All of those dreams are now gone.
I said once and I’ll say it again: I have looked up to this man all of my life and what he has done to many others is disgusting. The fact that I will never be able to enjoy one of his own movies again is heartbreaking.
