Lent: the time of sacrifice

Growing up a coddled Catholic, Lent was completely normal to me. I did not realize until later on that there are religions that do not celebrate it. During Lent in the Catholic schools I went to, everything was always more serious than usual. Everyone would watch each other to make sure they were not caving on the things they gave up. It was always about “what are you going to give up?” I always thought it was to strictly give up what I loved most. I remember one time I gave up trying to sleep with all of my stuffed animals.

It was in high school when I had a phone and the Internet at my fingertips that I realized all the different things I could do as my “Lenten promise.” From giving up makeup to trying to not gossip, the possibilities are truly endless. But, it was still about giving things up you enjoy. Because of this, people always search for a loophole to make the “suffering” less difficult. It almost seemed as though it was a game that Catholics played. Who is going to be the “bad Catholic” that does not follow through on their Lenten promise? The questions that would come up in my many, many theology classes were absolutely crazy. “You have to fast on Fridays, but if you are under 14, you don’t have to.” Really?

My one aunt has been a nun for a long time. I remember every Lenten season, some question would come up that I would ask her about. She always reassured me that I am a good person and God does not look for us to “cave” on our promises. He does not play the game that some Catholics try to play. My aunt’s big thing is instead of giving something up, take something on. Do a good deed for someone every day. Donate one item you don’t use for each day of the season. Maybe try to pray once a day if you don’t already. Give a different person a compliment each day. Write down three things you are grateful for each day.

It is not about who isn’t following the “rules” and who is. Yes, following through on a Lenten promise for all 40 days does give a rewarding feeling. If God suffered to die on the cross for us, I understand that we should try to give back to understand what he felt. The thing is, we are humans, and that concept is something no one can truly understand. We are not in Heaven yet, we do not know completely God’s plan and the deep love he has for us.

Now that I am on my own in college and able to form my own thoughts and feelings on the matter, I think that some Catholics try too hard to reason specific things that they themselves know they don’t understand. It is okay to not understand, we are not supposed to. If I thought that making a mistake during Lent and not following through on my Lenten promise would make God hate me, I would not even try. Everyone makes mistakes, I do not think God judges us on that. Even though I still have that guilt, I am trying to reteach myself that as long as I am an overall good person and I am kind to others each day, then everything will be okay.

I was raised being taught in my schools that Lent is a game. You follow the rules and “suffer” to get a sense of what God felt. Now that I am older, I see that I do not have to play that game. Each Lenten season is different for every person. That is between the person and God. We do not need to judge each other because we “broke the rules” because it is not our job. It is God’s job. This Lenten season, try to remember that it is not about suffering, it is about bettering yourself as a person and strengthening your relationship with God. There are more important decisions to make for God than eating a cookie if you give up sweets.