We have all been there. You start texting your ex like you never even dated before, back to being friends. Then, it starts to get a little flirtier. You ignore it because you are used to it. The past is familiar and it feels comfortable. You start hanging out again then, bam, you are back together.
It seems so simple. Why not get back together with your ex? You already know everything about each other. At some point, it seemed like a good idea to be together, so there must be some truth to it.
But, looking back, there was also a reason you broke up. Big or small, there is a good chance that reason has not been resolved just through time (except in some extreme circumstances) and there is a good chance it will be a problem again. Overall, 40 percent of college-aged students are in a relationship in which they have already broken up.
Throughout the beginning of high school, I was in a relationship that lasted about two years. It was a good relationship and I was happy. Nothing bad happened to end the relationship; we just realized that it was not going to go anywhere.
We did not see each other much after breaking up, simply because we went to different high schools. It was not until about a year and a half later when I wished him a happy birthday that we reconnected.
That first meaningless text started the non-stop texting, making plans to hang out and then eventually deciding to date again.
Restarting the relationship was not hard. In fact, it was even more exciting because we got to catch up on all of the things that had been going on with each other since we had broken up. The break up did not harm our relationship in any way; it just gave us more to talk about.
We dated for another six months before realizing the exact same problem that had broken us up before. Once again nothing major happened, there was no screaming or hate, we just were not going anywhere.
Now, I consider this to be one of the most amicable reasons to break up possible. We continue to be friends and there are no hard feelings whatsoever.
So, if reconnecting with an old flame was not able to work even after the most amicable way to break up, I do not see how people could be successful in getting back together after a far more upsetting and scarring reason for breaking up.
While I do think it is very easy to fall into the trap of what is comfortable, it is important to remember the reason for breaking up in the first place and try to resist the urge.
