Editor’s note: All names have been modified to protect the identity of the victims.
Half a century of life and the silence is now broken. A 50-year old single mother of a daughter confesses to being sexually harassed multiple times within her lifetime in incidents that could have quickly escalated to sexual assault.
The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, an American organization against sexual assault, explains that sexual harassment includes the experience of catcalling, being followed, fondling, others exposing themselves and other unwelcome or threatening behaviors on the street, in public or in private.
“It’s not a nice thing to talk about. I don’t want to relive those moments,” Mara Castillo said in Spanish.
After a few moments of silence and with reassuring eye contact, she continued.
The first time:
“I was, like, four or five; so little and so scared. I got under the bed. He was so tall and could almost reach me so I crawled into the far corner of the wall under the bed,” Castillo said. “When he was close enough to stare me in the eyes and grip one of my legs, I got nervous and kicked him in the face. That’s how I was able to get out.”
At the age of 15:
“He asked me for water and he looked around to make sure that I was alone. I could see my dad talking to his father from a distance. He asked me for water so I would turn around for his disposal.”
At the age of 22:
“I felt disgusting. I would scrub my body so aggressively. I could feel his sperm on me. He didn’t touch me but the intention was clear. I woke up to him masturbating above my face.”
Mara Castillo is one of many victims of sexual harassment who do not give their experiences importance because the experience of sexual assault is not present.
RAINN defines sexual assault as the sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim.
Some forms of sexual assault include attempted rape, unwanted sexual touching, forcing someone to perform sexual acts and penetration of the body.
RAINN defines rape as a form of sexual assault and emphasizes that not all sexual assault is rape.
Although sexual harassment and sexual assault have different definitions, both are based on the horrendous intention of violence.
Lexi Romero
At the age 11 or 12:
“We both went inside the elevator. I pressed the sixth floor and he pressed the third floor. When I looked back, his pants were undone and he was touching his private parts. He was approaching me when the elevator doors opened. I couldn’t even scream I was so scared.”
The U.S Equal Employment Opportunity Commission defines sexual harassment as an act that occurs within the workplace or a learning environment.
RAINN explains that sexual harassment does not always start or end in the workplace or learning environment.
Jackie Miller
“It was the first time I had been to his house and, of course, I wanted to see his room when he offered me to see it. After the door closed, he was different. He was aggressively pressing up against me and trying to kiss me. At first, I laughed but he didn’t join my laughter. He began to assault me. Thank god that his brother heard my screams and helped me escape. He was my boyfriend.”
Miller was not raped, but she was sexually assaulted.
Nina Davis
“At the age of 16, I confessed to a boyfriend that at the age of nine-years-old, an older cousin had performed oral sex on me. ‘You were raped,’ was the first thing my boyfriend said. That was the first and last time I spoke about that incident. At that age, you just don’t know how to identify the situation you are in, so I ignored it.”
Davis was sexually assaulted.
Catalina Ruiz
At the age of 4 or 5:
“My mom found me crying with my pants undone. A police officer— my mom’s best friend’s husband— got really drunk and fingered me. I felt like I was forced to like older men because older men would always try to get involved with me. I have had multiple urinary infections after that. I didn’t notice how much of an influence that had on me.”
Ruiz was raped.
Nonetheless, the lack of physical contact should not excuse the intention of sexual assault in cases. Simply because the offender did not act upon rape does not exclude the offender from becoming a rapist and continuing sexual assaulting.
