Attention: If you or anyone you know is suicidal, please call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
On March 31st, Netflix released a new series “13 Reasons Why.” This series is based on the book by Jay Asher.
The series tells a story of a girl, Hannah Baker, who has committed suicide. She leaves behind tapes of 13 reasons why she decided to end her life. Each side of the tape is one reason why.
The tapes land in the hands of Clay Jenson, a friend of Hannah’s. As he goes through the tapes, he tries to understand why Hannah chose to end her life. With each tape, he becomes more intrigued and tried to get justice for the things Hannah has seen happen in her high school while she was alive.
The series also covers the topics of sexual assault and rape.
Since the release of this Netflix series, the topic of suicide has been in the air. Many news sources as well as mental health organizations think that ’13 Reasons Why’ could have a negative effect on those who watch.
The National Association of School Psychologists reports, “”Research shows that exposure to another person’s suicide, or to graphic or sensationalized accounts of death, can be one of the many risk factors that youth struggling with mental health conditions cite as a reason they contemplate or attempt suicide.”
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide was the third leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 14 and the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 15 and 34.
The survivor:
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, on average, there are 121 suicides per day.
Mackenzie Harris is one person who has been struggling since an early age.
“Look what is happening in our world right now. Look at all of the discrimination, pain, hate, need for any ounce of empathy – it may be hard to find a place where there isn’t heartbreak,” Harris said.
“Watching this as a someone who has had her fair share of traumatic childhood experiences, has chronic depression and a severe anxiety disorder, I was so appalled by the representation of the very struggle I went through,” she said. “All I can think of is how it affects all the people who have no support systems. I was lucky to go to a school that had necessary programs in place, because it saved me from myself.”
Watching “13 Reasons Why” could be triggering to some people. Mackenzie shares her thoughts and views about the series.
“Hannah’s suffering is one story of billions who share something in common and the entire time while watching the show all I could feel is even more incredibly alone. I watched the show for my past self, to I guess prove that I was stronger and I am, but in one word I was saddened,” Harris said.
“Everyone is different, especially in different cultures outside of the United States, and my story isn’t identical to anyone else’s story, but I felt that emptiness down my high school walls and I know the need to feel anything except emptiness,” Harris said. “I hope those who are currently triggered from this show do have the necessary safe spaces or have the national hotline for suicide saved on their phone.”
“There are people not just in our nation but around our world that do not have the structures of an emotional support program at their school to talk about life, or caring parents to recognize signs, there are people who you would never even suspect a thing was wrong and the next day they could be gone. But no one wants to talk about that.”
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I really wanted this show to be bigger than it was,” she said. “I wanted to prove to myself that I could handle watching it and honestly it just made me more triggered and concerned for the people I love and know who have struggled with their own painful past.”
The mourner:
April Donahue is a nurse working in Boston, Mass.
“A coworker of mine who I also went to nursing school with, took her own life less than one month after moving to California. The job she had set up fell through but she was staying with friends and appeared to be enjoying Cali (as evidenced by Facebook pics).”
While telling the story of her co-worker’s death, she reflects upon her own experiences with mental health.
“In my past as a much younger person, I struggled with depression to the point that I had suicidal thoughts. Luckily, I had the right amount of support in my life as an adolescent, even though no one was aware of how bad I was (because I was always the overachiever who was happy and ‘fine’) that it never escalated to a plan or attempt and as an adult I’ve been able to address the issues of my past and continue the healing process,” April said.
“For my coworker, she presented as the always happy overachiever, but I didn’t see that in her as compensation for depression,”
“As a group of nurses and Healthcare providers, I think we all had a hard time reconciling that we didn’t see our friend/colleague in pain. And then of course, the idea that her move could have all been part of her plan, perhaps a reason to have a ‘goodbye’ party before she moved. But then you realize, you can’t make sense of when or why she decided…and it’s doesn’t actually matter,” Donahue said.
After losing a loved one, friend or colleague to suicide, there are many different emotions and behaviors you could be facing. Some include: the need to understand, guilt, responsibility, rejection, perceived abandonment and anger.
“I started watching 13 reasons…I’m in the 5th episode and I’m feeling mixed…I see that Netflix was trying to bring awareness and open the conversation around suicide but I also see that it could romanticize the idea of what would or could be the aftermath of a suicide,” Donahue said.
“I think it’s important to identify and discuss triggers to the extent the affected person is comfortable. Sharing stories and giving people non-judgmental space to listen or speak is vital.”
“The more that can be done to reduce stigma around mental illness and focusing on the spectrum of mental health for all people within the community…realizing that some mental health issues produce some of the most mentally resilient and resourceful people…focus on both strengths and challenges…helps open the conversation,” Donahue said.
The professional:
Katelyn O’Hara is a Health Care Counselor at Vital Decisions. She previously worked as a social worker for Fairmount Behavioral Health Systems.
“Currently, suicide is something that is taboo in our culture. Taboos could lead to less education and understanding about topics,” O’Hara said. “There is something called suicide contagion which is usually defined as seeing a trend of copycat behavior. This may indicate that the story is triggering people to start thinking of suicide more actively which could be defined as a risk factor for those already in vulnerable positions.”
“I read the book ‘13 Reasons Why’ just after it was released in 2007. At the time, I was completing my bachelor’s in social work. This helped to give me a better understanding of someone’s experience in depression and suicidal ideations. When I learned that this was going to be a series on Netflix, I made the active choice not to watch it because the weight of this story has stayed with me for the past 10 years,” O’Hara said.
Part of Katelyn’s job today, is working with adolescents and adults with mental illness, often those who have had suicide attempts.
“As we are shaping the conversation about mental health, we must be aware of the language that we are using. Let’s stop saying “committed suicide” like we say “committed a crime”. Perhaps we could replace this by saying “took own life,” “died by suicide” or “attempted to end own life.” We must be aware of stigmatizing language as that could impact one’s confidence in sharing their experience with the intention of seeking help,” O’Hara said.
“There is a trend nowadays for manifesting good vibes and positivity, and we seem to be skipping over suffering as a part of being human. We must recognize that suffering, in any capacity is not something to be shameful of. Sometimes, it’s those dark chapters in life that help us become our strongest selves,” she said.
What we can do to help:
Suicide is an important topic that needs to be talked about. One thing we can do is provide help, encouragement and open ear and support. There are hundreds of organizations that are focused on helping those who are struggling.
To Write Love On Her Arms Is One Of Them.
TWLOHA mission reads: ‘To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also invest directly into treatment and recovery.”
“As you might have guessed, we feel it is SO important to raise awareness to such a topic. We at TWLOHA care a great deal about mental health issues, and mental health in general. As a team, we work hard to stay mentally healthy, and most of us have attended or currently attend counseling,” TWLOHA said.
They also had a message to anyone who is struggling:
“Friend, we are so proud of you for continuing to live and fight to be alive. We think you are so strong. If you find yourself struggling at any point, we would recommend that you reach out to a family member, friend, or counselor. We at TWLOHA strongly believe in the power of sitting across from a counselor and sharing our story for the first, fifth, or hundredth time. If you are interested in finding more support, we recommend you check out our Find Help page. There, you’ll find resources in your area for counselors, support groups, and hotlines. If you don’t see your area on that page, feel free to email us back, and we will help you to the best of our abilities. It might be worth checking out your University’s counseling center for more resources as well.”
There are many things we can do to try and help those who are struggling with depression and suicide.
“By romanticizing and glorifying a tragic cause of death adds more stigmas if we aren’t having proper conversations around the issue,” Harris said.
“If they are already connected to a mental health professional to reach out to discuss their feelings. Or try a hot line if it’s more comfortable, find someone to stay with or talk to that you trust,” Donahue said.
“If someone feels uneasy after watching this series (’13 Reasons Why’), we suggest they seek help. We want people to know that they are not alone. We believe in the power of counseling and hope. If you are struggling please choose to reach out, your story is important and you are worth help,” TWLOHA said.
Katelyn says, “If you know someone who is experiencing depression, anxiety or suicidal thoughts, be curious. Spend time with that person in a way that offers support and care. Asking more information about if they have a plan is not going to give them ideas on how to attempt suicide. By learning more of this information and taking action by requesting help from counseling professional, hotline or even by contacting the police or visiting the local emergency room. Being the person who has the ability to lean in to the intense conversations is tough and at the same time could offer support to someone at a time of most need.”
To all of you who are reading, if you are struggling, know that you are loved and help is out there. You are beautiful and your life’s worth living.
