Living during the time of advanced technology and social media has allowed us to observe a lot of things that happened behind closed doors in the past. One of those things happens to be disturbing instances of domestic violence.
Domestic violence is defined as violent confrontation between the members of an household or personal relationship. Abuse can happen emotionally, physically, and (or) psychologically. The abuser will usually make threats and prey on the fears of the victim in order to gain control over them. It is usually depicted as something that happens between partners and spouses, but children and family members may face domestic violence in the household too. Not only does domestic violence have such a negative impact on the victim, but it can also have negative affects on those who witness it as well, such as children.
While it is statistically proven that a woman is more likely to be a victim of domestic violence than a man, it does not mean that the number of male victims should be taken lightly. Around 830,000 men a year fall victim to domestic violence. With the double standards that are placed on males today it is actually seen as more challenging for men to deal with domestic violence.
No man should ever put his hands on a women violently is what many of us are taught growing up. Men are most times than not physically bigger and stronger than women so it is unfair and unjust to physically fight with them. Because of this outlook, many men are scared to let people know that they are in a relationship with an abusive woman. “You got beat up by a girl bro?” “Why you let her treat you like that, you are a grown man!” The truth is, just like in any other abusive relationship, the victim is threatened and has their fears preyed upon.
Just as with women victims, many men fear they’ll lose their children to the abusive partner. Many female abusers try to use this to their advantage as many men believe it is difficult to win custody battles in Family Court. Believe it or not, men and women share many reasons why they don’t “just leave” their abuser. Not wanting to break up the family, holding hope that the abuser can change, financial stability, religious reasons, etc.
It is most important that as a male, you don’t retaliate to the abuse. Some women abusers will lie and or try to provoke you into hitting them. If you do, no matter what happened in the past, you are the abuser now. It is best to try to leave the situation as quickly as possible, if possible. Also try to document the abuse as much as possible. Having evidence that abuse actually did take place is key to killing the skepticism of a man being abused by a woman.
The top step to remember though is there are resources for male victims of domestic violence. The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233) can be a huge help to getting you out of your situation by letting you know how to handle it. Advocates from domestic violence programs can assist you in getting a restraining order against the abuser. Talking to friends and family about it can relieve a great amount of stress. There are people here to help, it’s just about recognizing that it is needed.
With the double standards placed on males domestic violence is harder to deal with it leaves many of them not knowing what to do to get out of abusive situations. It is vital that they know it is resources out here to help them, just like with all victims of domestic violence. It’s about raising awareness. Instead of the media focusing on just female victims there needs to be more of a balance so that all victims of domestic violence feel represented and be more willing to put their story out.
