All humans seek for connections with one another. It is natural and an enjoyable part of life. We can tell deep secrets to one another, stories, jokes or even just be present with one another and feel that bond. It is an even deeper bond with your own blood relatives, but either way, it is something humans naturally search for.
There is another connection, though, that is just as important. It is the connection you are able to have with yourself and by yourself. No one else can obtain it which is what makes it even more unique. These times you have by yourself help build who you are as a person. It makes you capable of building stronger relationships with peers because you have that inner connection first. It is similar to loving yourself before you can love someone else.
It is important to get away from reality sometimes. It started for me my freshman year of high school. The more time I spent with myself, the happier I seemed to be around others. I found this in music; it was my escape from people. I could discover myself in the lyrics of what an artist said.
Sure, it can be argued I was not completely alone because of the connection I had with the artist. On the contrary, no one else experienced that connection with me. I was with myself, so the lyrics hit harder and were felt deeper. It was a somewhat hidden connection that I could share with myself first, then bring that joy to others.
This time spent with just me and the music is just as important as when I am alone with a book. I have a connection with the writer, but a connection no one else can experience with me. For example, my favorite book is “Into the Wild” by John Krakauer. He writes about a boy, Chris McCandless, who left his family to be alone in the wilderness. The connection he has with his parents was not positive, so he knew he would be happier on his own. He had that connection, just him and the wilderness, that no one else could feel or fully understand. It was this link that made him special, so special he has multiple books and articles written on him.
Another example is the connections I strengthen with myself when I write. I am sure other writers experience a similar feeling, but truly only I can share this with myself first. I didn’t discover this until my senior year of high school, which was another year I would spend a lot of time by myself. I wanted to know who I was before I came to college so I could stick to that. I didn’t want to be someone I wasn’t. I knew being a little weird would help me thrive in college. I took that weirdness and embraced it when I was by myself. I became more comfortable with it, so I let others see that side.
The more I find out about myself by listening to music, reading or writing, the more I feel I know myself. This leads to a greater self-love and confidence, which is the root to part of my happiness. There are many insecure people that I see that put their insecurities in the wrong things. My insecurities were put into listening to music or reading. They would be put into writing how I feel almost daily. The more I acknowledged them when I was by myself, the more I came to accept them. Everyone has their flaws, no one is perfect. The more we accept these flaws we have and embrace them when we are alone, the more confident we can be around others. No one can make fun of you for something you act confidently about!