A letter to my mom

By Joana Cainglet
November 12, 2019

My mom, Rosana Cainglet, holding me the moment after I was born. Photo by Jonathan Cainglet.

Dear Mama,

I just wanted to say thank you. From the moment I was born to this day, I have felt an overwhelming amount of love from you and because of you, I will continue to feel this love until the day I die. Thank you for giving my big brother, Jed, and I everything you can despite what is going on beneath the surface. Because of you, we have always been best friends and will always be.

My brother, Jed, and I on the couch posing for a picture on Christmas day. Photo by Rosana Cainglet.

You gave me life and like a plant, you loved me, nourished me, and kept me in the sun so that I would grow up without any negativity. You gave Jed and me the roots of our faith and, with dad, you continued to teach us how to be good people following in His footsteps. You always pushed me to follow my dreams and to never back down when it comes to something I am passionate about.

You were my biggest supporter and cheerleader in the stands watching me play basketball and because of my size, I have constantly been pushed around and have always found my way to the floor. No matter what, you stood by me. You didn’t want me to get hurt, but you knew I loved playing the game, so you pushed away your desires and you cheered me on. Because of you, I get back up. Because of you, I learned to love who I am and to never let anyone take me for granted.

You are my rock and my role model. At the end of the day, you are who I strive to be. Your faith is so strong and even though you live through pain, you have so much trust in God that you let go and let Him do what needs to be done. Mama, you are the reason why I am who I am and you are the reason why I strive to be the best version of me.

Thank you for loving me and living with your heart on your sleeve. I love you with all my heart and soul. Mama, I love you forever and ever.

Background

My dad got a job and moved to America from the Philippines in 1996. A year later, my mom followed, working at the same job as my dad. My brother was born in 1998 and I followed in the year 2000. My mom was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis in 1997. A few months before I was born, my mom was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Then, she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in 2004.

My family smiling on a stack of presents on my second birthday. Photo by Jonathan Cainglet.

Type 2 diabetes is when the body doesn’t produce enough insulin or rejects the insulin. Neurofibromatosis is an extremely rare condition where tumors are formed either in the brain, nerves or spinal cord. Ulcerative colitis is an intestinal condition in which the large intestine becomes inflamed. The tumors from neurofibromatosis can be cancerous and ulcerative colitis can lead to colon cancer. There are many symptoms of these chronic illnesses. For type 2 diabetes, according to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms are changes in weight, uncontrolled thirst, hunger, or fatigue and others like blurred vision and poor wound healing. Symptoms from neurofibromatosis are pain areas, high blood pressure, pins and needles, changes in skin like discoloration or lumps, bone deformities, scoliosis and seizures (just to name a few). Symptoms in ulcerative colitis are weight loss, scarring in the organs, anemia, loss of appetite, pain, diarrhea and bloody stool.

In my mom’s case, she has lots of pain and many other symptoms. We are so blessed that none of her tumors are cancerous. Ever since I can remember, she has been taking a handful of medications, and just to add to what she already has, she has insomnia, which keeps her up all night. My mom gets an annual MRI for her neurofibromatosis, and for 10 years she has been going to the doctors for a Remicade infusion every six weeks for her ulcerative colitis. For those who don’t know, a Remicade infusion is a long process of slowly injecting medicine into a patient’s vein. My mom has gone through so much and doctors say it is a miracle she is alive and walking. She has suffered through so much pain and had three different surgeries for her neurofibromatosis. Two surgeries to remove the tumors, one of those was a month after her arrival to the United States, and one surgery to correct the scars. Her tumor is located in the main nerve on her right leg. If doctors attempt to remove it, my mom would not be able to walk again using her right leg.

Recently, we were gifted another miracle. After 10 years of treatment, we learned that my mom no longer has ulcerative colitis and it looks as if she never had it.

I love you mom, and I am so grateful for what you do for me. I am so blessed to have you in my life and I am glad you are by my side through it all.

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Joana Cainglet

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